December Blue Moon

Anticipating the New Year with renewed hope and happiness. Today I will work on my needlepoint and go to the beach to see Cissy take her lesson on kite surfing. I spent my meditation hour reading some St. Francis de Sales and other morning offerings. It was good to be reminded that we are not destined to live without pain or anxiety but we can always find peace with God.

Treat anxiety like the temptation it is.

Fight it.

Send it on its way.

You cannot keep your peace by losing it.

I must be sure to look at the moon and stars tonight. They are so bright here in Baja.

Set Your Heart Free

FELIZ NAVIDAD!
What a wonderful place I am at for Christmas. Here in Los Barriles with my daughter and staying at the casita on the grounds of the family compound of her boyfriend's family. Not only is it a lovely place to stay physically - it is also a time and place to reflect, exercise, and meditate.

Today is Christmas morning and we went to mass last night at the little local church. There was much upbeat music and of course the mass was in Spanish. I tried to focus on God but my mind was often distracted in the new surroundings.

This morning I spent time reading from my two daily meditation books. Set Your Heart Free focuses on the words of St. Frances de Sales and Let Nothing Disturb You uses the writings of St. Teresa of Avila.

I am glad that one of the books advises in the forward not to be discouraged. If your attempts at prayerful meditation do not always resonate with a closeness to God, be patient, St Francis advises. Here is a passage from todays reading.

Thank you for all the gifts of this day,

for taking me by the hand

whenever my faith deserted me

and I lost my footing

whenever I forgot

that you alone can hold me up

I Like it

Keep learning. The best part of today was a session at the Apple store. I am working on a scrapbook of photos of Rory. The doldrums or should they be called the DOLTRUMS went away with prayer and learning new stuff. These One on One sessions I signed up for at Apple are sooo good.

One step at a time

Was I upbeat yesterday because I thought an offer would come for the house since a couple came to see it for the third time. Yes, because I wanted that to happen. Today, with no offer, I find myself down in the dumps. This is so wrong because I keep seeing and hearing in my readings and meditations that all will be well in God's time. I'm still stuck on my time and missing the joys of turning problems over to God and enjoying each new day. I am disappointed in myself. I am going today for a lesson at the Mac store. I want to see how you make a scrapbook - am trying to do that with photos of Rory.

I've got plans and a ticket

I'm going to Baja, Mexico for Christmas!!!!

I'm Learning

Loved the class and want to do more with my blog. Found out how to keep track of passwords on Keychain. Next class we are going to work on my Itunes. This evening - will continue working on my Needlepoint. Besides prayer, and my meds, it is a Zen like path to patience and accomplishment. I have come to realize that until I retired I was always in a hurry, and worse almost always impatient and stressed. Still love the moment in Mass when the priest asks God to "free us from all anxiety." Anxiety has been at times a constant companion and I am trying very hard to lose him. A very disagreeable companion - more like a monkey on your back - not cute like this one.

TECHI ME

At the Apple Store at the Summit. Going to learn SECURITY measures for my Mac. Since I may be in B'ham for a long while - until my house sells - I am going to take advantage of my One on One classes to see about creating a web page.

All is Well

Am back from my Cursillo weekend. It was a life renewing experience. I am so glad I went and am working with the Holy Spirit to make God a part of my everyday life. I am reading and meditating. I have a 30 day meditation book, All Is Well, based on the writings of Julian of Norwich. She is a new writer for me. She was an anchoress at a medieval church and she is the first woman writer in English whose work survives.

This is from MY Day Begins - Day four - my reading for today:

And I thought that if there were no sin,

we would all be pure and akin to our Lord

just as we had ben created sinless

But in my vision, Jesus informed me

of everything necessary for me to know

And he told me: Sin is necessary.

but everything will turn out for the good,

and all will be well

For me it is a calming and positive way to start the day

Jeremiah

The Lord says: "My plans for you are peace not disaster, when you call to me, I will listen to you, and I will bring you back to the place from which I exciled you." Jeremiah 29:11

This verse at mass on Sept. 15th made me feel that God is directing my move and bringing me back to Philadelphia. Why oh why can I not retain joy in the belief of His plan for me. Sometimes I think my brain is too easily captured by the devil, who brings me down with fear and torments of "what if" disasters. Shame on me - I hate that. Bring on the JOY!

Inspection today

Thank you Lord and Saint Joseph we have a contract. Please stay with me and help us through closing with faith in your mercy and love and always with confidence that I am following your plan. Banish doubts, stress, and anxiety from my heart and mind and soul. Let me be peaceful in your arms. Forgive my tepid faith - make it strong every day and every hour. I love you, Jesus. Blessed Mary and Joseph help and intercede for me.

House selling stress!

Lord I can't deal with this. You are going to have to handle it. I'm putting it in your hands and I know you will take care of me.

Anxiety

The new York Times has an article on anxiety. One way to handle it is to keep a journal. I awoke today at 3 a.m. and I know it is because I have a lot of anxiety about selling the house. There has only been one couple who has looked at it - they were here for a second visit yesterday evening and that is a good sign. Still I think if they don't make an off I worry, worry, worry, that I could be stuck here. A friend sent me an email about living today - I try to remember to enjoy the dance of life and most of all to trust that I am in God's hands and He is watching over me. Life is not meant to be an anxiety trip. It is so sad that I continue to do so. Simplifying my life, I think will be a healthy solution for me. I do not need to own a house - when this one sells it would be best for me to be an apartment dweller. I am taking a needlepoint lesson tomorrow - I want something to do with my hands that will keep me absorbed and my mind free of those dreaded anxiety thoughts.

Caravan Day

It has been a busy few days getting the house ready to put on the market and today the Realtors Caravan came and saw the "staged" house with sparkling clean windows, floors, no evidence of pets, and an apple cinnamon aroma wafting - thanks to my own stove top brew. I am hiding out at a friend's house with the dog. Good news - there is a real showing at 5:30pm with prospective buyers. The news today says there has been an uptick in house buying and the $8000 home credit is still going on for first time buyers. So a few prayers and we shall see.

Sunday

Looking for help to find my way home. Going to say my prayers for peace, joy on this earth, and purpose and direction. There is a part of every Mass when the priest asks God to "keep us from all anxiety" and I am just amazed at how much anxiety I can crowd into a day. My latest device for crowding it out is a prayer to the angel St. Raphael who is charged with handing out love and joy. I'm bothering him a lot.

Cool Fall

New Words

Neologism is a noun meaning new word. BenjaminFranklin did create new words. I have been reading a biography written by Walter Isaacson in which he notes several of Franklin's word creations dealing with his work with electricity. The words he coined: battery, charged, neutral, condense, and conductor.

Saturday, YES, Sept 26 and Rain! Rain! Rain!
Waiting and waiting without ANXIETY. Ha! That is not true. When you are waiting to hear if you got the job you applied for there is no waiting without anxiety. It creeps up on you, wakes you up, overtakes your brain when you are driving, pushes out your determined upbeat thoughts and tries to swamp you with negativity. Then somehow you force yourself to get lost in a book so those sneaky anxietous thoughts can't grab your brain.
I know "anxietous" is not a word but Ben Franklin made up some words that later became real words. I will look that up and find out what they were and post them later.